战争日记

前一天
将军：每个人都有梦想，每个人都有期望，为了那渴望的一天，咱们拼了！明天势必凯旋而归。
兵卒：凯旋！凯旋！凯旋！

第一天
将军：今天，咱们大军兵临鲁国城下，非要孔子开门投降不可！
兵卒：咳！
将军：将士们！杀。。。。
兵卒：杀。。。。
[一个时辰的厮杀后]
兵卒：报！禀报将军，我军成功登上城楼，夺取鲁国。
将军：好！
兵卒：可是，孔子莫乱逃走了!
将军：凭他淡薄的智谋，不可能逃得过我布下的天罗地网！
兵卒：据探马来报，孔子把老子，大卫罗斯，康德等人邀来共谋策略。
将军：难怪！但取得鲁国，是个好的开始。。。那咱们休战一日。

KFC

Waitress: Good afternoon sir, may I help you?

Me: Erm... I would like to have the latest meal set.

Waitress: Having Here?

Me: [Surprisingly and Fiercely] Why you ask so... Absolutely not!

Waitress: Sorry Sir, Sorry Sir, Calm down.

Me: Is OK, just make it faster.

[After 5 minutes]

Waitress: Here you are, your fast meal Sir

Me: What the f...

Waitress: Anything,sir?

Me: Why you pack up the meal...

Waitress: I thought you are taking away!

Me: No

Waitress: But, you were saying "Not Having Here"

Me: Of course not! You expect me to eat fried chicken on this counter in front of you?

PC FAIR

Sales Girl : Come and have a look Mr.

Mr.Teh : [Looking at the flyer] Hmm...

Sales Girl : What are you looking for, sir, a laptop or a desktop?

Mr.Teh : Oh! I am looking for a laptop.

Sales Girl : How about this, XXX model. It has i7 processor, GeForce graphic card, 620GB har....

Mr.Teh : Seem like not bad.

Sales Girl : Absolutely, this is our top sales model. We do give 20 free gift for any purchasing.

Mr. Teh :Hmm...

Sales Girl : Somemore, we provide you ASS...

Mr.Teh : [@@! Ass...]Wow,awsome!

Sales Girl : What the hell, I means After Sales Service for the laptop.