Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Friday, October 29, 2010
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Monday, August 30, 2010
战争日记
前一天
将军:每个人都有梦想,每个人都有期望,为了那渴望的一天,咱们拼了!明天势必凯旋而归。
兵卒:凯旋!凯旋!凯旋!
第一天
将军:今天,咱们大军兵临鲁国城下,非要孔子开门投降不可!
兵卒:咳!
将军:将士们!杀。。。。
兵卒:杀。。。。
[一个时辰的厮杀后]
兵卒:报!禀报将军,我军成功登上城楼,夺取鲁国。
将军:好!
兵卒:可是,孔子莫乱逃走了!
将军:凭他淡薄的智谋,不可能逃得过我布下的天罗地网!
兵卒:据探马来报,孔子把老子,大卫罗斯,康德等人邀来共谋策略。
将军:难怪!但取得鲁国,是个好的开始。。。那咱们休战一日。
将军:每个人都有梦想,每个人都有期望,为了那渴望的一天,咱们拼了!明天势必凯旋而归。
兵卒:凯旋!凯旋!凯旋!
第一天
将军:今天,咱们大军兵临鲁国城下,非要孔子开门投降不可!
兵卒:咳!
将军:将士们!杀。。。。
兵卒:杀。。。。
[一个时辰的厮杀后]
兵卒:报!禀报将军,我军成功登上城楼,夺取鲁国。
将军:好!
兵卒:可是,孔子莫乱逃走了!
将军:凭他淡薄的智谋,不可能逃得过我布下的天罗地网!
兵卒:据探马来报,孔子把老子,大卫罗斯,康德等人邀来共谋策略。
将军:难怪!但取得鲁国,是个好的开始。。。那咱们休战一日。
Saturday, August 21, 2010
KFC
Waitress: Good afternoon sir, may I help you?
Me: Erm... I would like to have the latest meal set.
Waitress: Having Here?
Me: [Surprisingly and Fiercely] Why you ask so... Absolutely not!
Waitress: Sorry Sir, Sorry Sir, Calm down.
Me: Is OK, just make it faster.
[After 5 minutes]
Waitress: Here you are, your fast meal Sir
Me: What the f...
Waitress: Anything,sir?
Me: Why you pack up the meal...
Waitress: I thought you are taking away!
Me: No
Waitress: But, you were saying "Not Having Here"
Me: Of course not! You expect me to eat fried chicken on this counter in front of you?
Friday, August 6, 2010
PC FAIR
Sales Girl : Come and have a look Mr.
Mr.Teh : [Looking at the flyer] Hmm...
Sales Girl : What are you looking for, sir, a laptop or a desktop?
Mr.Teh : Oh! I am looking for a laptop.
Sales Girl : How about this, XXX model. It has i7 processor, GeForce graphic card, 620GB har....
Mr.Teh : Seem like not bad.
Sales Girl : Absolutely, this is our top sales model. We do give 20 free gift for any purchasing.
Mr. Teh :Hmm...
Sales Girl : Somemore, we provide you ASS...
Mr.Teh : [@@! Ass...]Wow,awsome!
Sales Girl : What the hell, I means After Sales Service for the laptop.
Mr.Teh : [Looking at the flyer] Hmm...
Sales Girl : What are you looking for, sir, a laptop or a desktop?
Mr.Teh : Oh! I am looking for a laptop.
Sales Girl : How about this, XXX model. It has i7 processor, GeForce graphic card, 620GB har....
Mr.Teh : Seem like not bad.
Sales Girl : Absolutely, this is our top sales model. We do give 20 free gift for any purchasing.
Mr. Teh :Hmm...
Sales Girl : Somemore, we provide you ASS...
Mr.Teh : [@@! Ass...]Wow,awsome!
Sales Girl : What the hell, I means After Sales Service for the laptop.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
颁奖典礼
话说就在一个隆重的颁奖礼上,王博士惯常地在台上演说起著名的《数字圣经》。由于疲累想闭上眼睛歇会儿,不知不觉地睡着了……
[突然]
[徐徐冷风]
王博士 : (激动地以食指指向我) 看!这……这……位张先生,你们看看他,“一表人才” 就知道是个成就“非凡”的人。我们得颁个成就奖以勉励他。
观众:(以“羡慕”以及“尊敬”的眼光看过来)
王博士:好!叫他准备好 7 面的简历,我要给他《王博士基金》面试的机会……
我:(妈的……)
[颁奖礼后……]
记者:张先生,请问您对这次的成就奖有何感想?
我:哦!(毛啊,当然dulan啦!)对于这次的得奖,无疑会有些许的忽然。然而,这个奖项是对我成就的肯定,我感到无比的光荣。而,这次的面试,会是我的鼓励,我会积极地看待。谢谢大伙们的关心……
[回家后……]
T.T……哭……哭……
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